Thursday, December 11, 2014

Frustrations

Fair warning, this post will probably go pretty deep. I'm not even sure if frustration is the right word to describe how I feel right now. There's only a few things I know for sure, the first being that I am a grade A sissy. I long to be locked in chastity and dressed up in frivolous feminine finery. I also know that it'll never happen. Sissies who are 6'2" and 300 lbs don't make for useful sissies. Honestly though this post has little to do with my appearance, I could diet and wear enough makeup to pull something off within my satisfaction.

I'm mostly disappointed with my life. I am married to an amazing, beautiful, smart and ambitious woman. I love her with all my heart but there's an issue. She doesn't get me. She doesn't share any interests that I do and she thinks the things I do enjoy are stupid. She's known about my crossdressing desires for some time. Back in college she said she thought it was weird. She said she wanted "a man, not a girlfriend to walk down the street with clacking our heels on the pavement." So I became that man, at least outwardly. I even avoided dressing for 10 years. However, my desires remained. She caught me reading CD erotica at literotica.com and fictionmania and eventually I've become adept at covering my digital tracks. When she caught me the last time she had a long string of tearful questions on whether I was gay. I wasn't and I loved her. I couldn't explain to her then what I know now. I couldn't explain that I wasn't checking that girl in the skirt out, I was imagining what her skirt would feel swirling around my shaved legs.

Over time I've learned about my own self. I never stopped reading CD erotica, and eventually graduated to captions and other content here on blogger. Especially from the wonderful and amazing Leanne and of course the lovely Saragirl. Don't forget Annamalice, OMG. Thinking back on my wife's questions that night, it's funny. I haven't looked at straight porn in probably 5 years. Maybe I am gay, though we have a decent enough sex life. I've never contemplated seeking male companionship because I don't want to be a man with another man, I want to be the girl.

I recently broached the topic of chastity with my wife, but she just thought I was into BDSM. It was pretty frustrating. So maybe frustration is the right word after all.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

OMG

So last night my wife and I were having pillow talk and she asked me something kibky I'd like to try.  In the past shes been very disgusted with the idea of crossdressing so I mentioned that humiliation turns me on.  Usually our conversations end there but last she asked me to expand on that thought.  I told her I thought it'd be hot if she locked up my penis.  She didn't say no but didn't really get it.  After much flustered explaining I finally said "it'd be hot if I couldn't touch myself without your permission."  She responded with a big "ohhhhh I get it." And there was a long awkward pause.  She didn't ask anything else and we kept talking.  I'm so nervous/excited to see what happens next.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Friday, May 11, 2012

My Sissy Choices

I finally got sick of the way I was living my life.  Maybe I didn't want anyone to know about my sissy tendencies, so I let myself go.  Well that ends today.  Today I stop chewing my fingernails (I bought clear polish at Target, I'm such a girl).  Today I trim my body hair (should I make my bush a heart shape or is that going to far?).  Today i plucked my eyebrows (they were way out of control).  Tomorrow I buy an exercise bike and hopefully by next year I will have a trim feminine body.

Oh the choices we make, today was big one for me.